Facebook Blues: The Effects of Viewing Your Ex's Page and What You Can Do About Them

  

photo courtesy of FB

Call me a masochist but, sometimes I really couldn't help checking the Facebook pages of my  former boyfriends, boytoys, pseudo-lovers, and whatchamacallits. I get that certain itch on any kind of day and try to find out what's going on in their interesting lives when mine is obviously as boring as it gets. Why else should I be poking my nose in their business, if my life is all fireworks and rainbows? Ugh. I'm definitely a nut case. What's more, I feel depressed after I viewed their photos and wall postings. I can't help but feel a pinch when I learn that they're happy with their new girlfriends or wives and even their own children. I felt bad for a while when one of my exes even named his kid starting with the first letters of our names. I didn't check anymore whether it was only a coincidence or not, because I'll definitely feel much worse. How can one cope with this kind of stuff? Here are five things that we could do to avoid doing the silly things I mentioned and avoid self-inflicted pain. But still, it's up to you whether these can help you or not.  

1. Unfriend your ex-boyfriend: This could be the best way to avoid seeing his posts especially pictures with his new girlfriend or wife. If you cannot do this yet, try to at least unsubscribe to his feeds.



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2. Do not request or accept his friend request: If you're not yet friends on Facebook, it's easier to ignore him. But, don't attempt to make a friend request or get clicker happy when you see a friend request from him. Think more than a dozen times before accepting. Ask yourself if it will not affect your whole social networking life if you'll be friends with him or not.

3. Do not search for him: We often search for people, whether old schoolmates, friends, or even celebrities to add to our roster of FB friends. However, more often than not, we also type in names of old flames. Better stop before you go any further. As they say, past is past. Unless it's okay for you to be friends with them and that you are sure that doing so will be without any kind of conflict.

4. Untag your name from posts and photos where you both appear: Aside from untagging yourself, you my also ask your friends to refrain from tagging you in photos which can be accessible both ways. That is, you and your ex can see the same post and this can also be seen in your walls.

5. Make Facebook a place where you can thrive: Whether it's real or virtual, we should try to make our surroundings as healthy and as happy as possible. I believe Facebook was created to bring people together not to destroy lives. So, let's share our love and lives to those who really matter and leave the good ol' past behind. Move on and be happy!

It's A Dog's Life: The Japanese Spitz Way

When people learn that I have five dogs at home, their faces usually register the same expressions: a smile and an imaginary speech bubble saying, "What? Are you crazy?" I often just laugh at them and make them feel like they are actually missing a lot if they haven't experienced staying in a house full of barking-mad dogs. Boisterous and furniture-wrecking dogs, a.k.a. monsters, they are, I love them so much that even the thought of losing them one day brings tears to my eyes. They are the children that I may never have and my stress relievers when I get home tired from work. They may be the dogs that annoy my parents on a daily basis and the dogs that keep guests out of the house, but they're the best ones I could ever have. So, what kind of dogs are they?   



Zhiva (10 months old)

Japanese Spitz Dogs

They are medium sized dogs which originated from several northern breeds. They usually have a white coat of hair which is thicker and longer around their necks. They also have furry tails that are curled over their backs. Japanese Spitz dogs resemble the American Eskimo dog and the Samoyed dog. They also have similar features with the Pomeranian breed but they are slightly larger in size and their faces have a wedged shape. They are very playful and crave attention. They love to be pampered and babied, but sometimes show sign of indifference. They bark a lot especially when there are strangers about. They don't easily trust outsiders and they still bark at people who they regularly see once or twice a week. They tend to suffer from separation anxiety when left alone at home for more than an hour. This can cause a chewing and wrecking spree. They bite furniture, shoes, magazines, paper, plastic, and whatever they can sink their teeth into. So, it is best to train them well or keep them, when left alone, in an area where they cannot destroy any of your things. Better yet, consult Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer.



Courtney (2 years old) and baby Zachary (1 month old)

Loving Pets

Japanese Spitz dogs are very sweet and loving. Expect to be slobbered when you get home even after going out for a couple of hours. My pets usually try to beat each other out in getting to be the first to sit with me on the sofa. They always want to be hugged and cuddled. They also enjoy taking baths, having their fur brushed, and getting treats. They seem to understand when I feel bad because they surround me and try to sit very close to me as if trying to keep me warm inside and out. They even wake me up in the morning when they hear my alarm and realize that I'm not yet getting up. One or two of them will get into my bed and lick my face non-stop until I get up and say, "Gising na 'ko! (I'm awake!)"    



L to R: Courtney, Cedric, Zachary, Zhiva, and Kjiara

Loyal Guards

My pets are the most effective burglar alarm! Even the slightest sound outside can alert them and when they hear voices in the middle of the night, they will bark a lot until you have checked and tell them that everything is okay. They are wary of strangers and rarely accept food from others unless I allow them. 

Lively Toys 

I love having fun with all of them during the weekends. They like playing tag and fetch. They also enjoy dressing up! It's like playing with a living doll. They'll even pose for the camera and let you take as many pictures as you want, that is, until they get tired and run away. However, they can be choosy with the type of clothes I force them to wear. You'll know if they don't like it because they'll be shredding it right after you dress them up.    



Zhiva and Cedric

Cuddly Comedians

Whenever I feel bad or sad about something, my dogs, whether intentionally or not, usually come to me and make cute faces. They even make me laugh with their silly antics. They would also allow me to cuddle and hug them, even Zachary, one of my male Japanese Spitz dogs, who doesn't like being touched.

Unconditional Love

My Japanese Spitz dogs are the source of my happiness and inpiration. They fill empty days, feelings, and anything in between. They love me unconditionally. Enough said.   

To Write and To Cherish

It has been a while since I last wrote something of significance. Well, at least for myself. I used to do a lot of pen pushing, with loads of notebooks and bits of papers filled with my distinct yet sometimes unintelligeble handwriting. To think that it's more convenient to compose and edit using the computer, the more that I couldn't get myself to finish any of my soon-to-be best selling fiction novels. I have millions of ideas running through my head but I couldn't seem to do my Chuck and Kyle XY thing - to compartmentalize all the stuff inside and write them down in a systematic and organized way. I guess it's about time to pick up all the mess and try to finish at least one project before the year ends.

This blog will finally start what I've always wanted: to write and to cherish = to have fun and love what I do. I hope I can finally realize the prophecy in my old high school year book, where I was pictured as a best selling author having an autograph signing event in Switzerland. So, here's a big shout out to anyone who cares to listen: I'm finally here and I'm going to blow your minds!